-morphism, suffix meaning the “condition of having a (specified) shape”: amorphism, isomorphism, pedomorphism.
What now, I mean really what now…. last Sunday a breakdown and auditory hallucinations, a week spent in the hospital and we left with a new sense of urgency and a bottle of lamotrigine. A recent evaluation has now suggested B could most likely be bipolar 1, although the therapist listed only as a rule out. So one more to add to our ever growing list of letter disorders and comorbidities. His depression was off the charts and his self loathing evident every single second of every day. Finally, Sunday night he admitted that a voice in his head was very loud and telling him how useless, annoying, pathetic and worthless he is. My 9-year-old, my precious, beautiful, amazing 9-year-old is having paranoid thoughts and auditory hallucinations. How did we get here? I agreed to the medication because I just don’t know what else to do. I want him to be well, I want him to be happy, I want to stop chasing things that don’t exist, I am beginning to believe a ‘cure’ isn’t out there anymore. So the medication route it is.
Fast forward almost 2 weeks and my son is coughing, has a runny nose, itchy sore throat and isn’t feeling great, but he also has asthma and we live in city #5 on the list of worst allergen places to live. Now I am freaking out that he is having a reaction to the lamotrigine and decide to err on the side of caution. I took him to urgent care, they were unsure of how to titrate his dose so they called a psychiatrist, who told us it was okay to just stop it. He has only been on it 2 weeks and his dose is very low, so stop it we have. I am not even saying never again, but right now, my fear of Steven Johnson Syndrome is so high, I am willing to wait it out for a week or 2 before we get back on track.
In my desire to get him off the drug as fast as possible, I of course, hit Google! Reading the stories of withdrawal made me more nervous than ever… so with that in mind, knowing that we have to wait it out a week or two for his current symptoms to subside before we try again, I once again am exploring the William Walsh, natural ways to get him more stable. While searching for answers I also found another book that looks very promising entitled Healing Depression and Bipolar Without Drugs – I have already downloaded it to my Kindle! I also went ahead and treated myself to some light reading (! :)) with William Walsh’s publication Nutrient Power 2012. As I already have my 23andMe gene information in hand in regards to the MTHR gene (read this for more information on MTHR), I am fairly confident the answer lies within these three parts of the triangle – Food, nutrition and methylation. Wish me luck as we embark on a this new fork in the road.
A great resource: The Balanced Mind Foundation