The 1,2,3 Magic program is very straightforward, but it took watching the video for me to really understand how to do it correctly, even though I had previously read the book. I eventually realized that it isn’t just a matter of counting your kid’s behavior; it is actually a system designed to warn your child that a consequence is about to happen. This is just one more thing we tried that was semi-effective and not super expensive to implement, so I am happy to share our experiences about it.
So if my child is having a hard time being polite to me, the conversation may go like this:
Her: What’s for dinner?
Me: Salad.
Her: I hate salad, whhhhy do I have to eat that, I wannnt chicken nuggets.
Me: That’s 1
Her: buuuuuuuuut you NEVER let me choose dinner.
Me: That’s 2.
Her: I hate you, you always make me eat stuff I don’t want.
Me: Time-out: 5 minutes in your room.
If she doesn’t go, I let her know that if I need to help her get to her room, it will be 5 minutes plus an additional 5 minutes for ignoring my first request. 95% of the time, my daughter leaves, goes to her room, and comes out 5 minutes later with a big smile and acting as if nothing has happened. She calms down, and we all eat dinner.
Sounds really simplistic, and it actually is for my girl, but it is absolutely not as effective with my son. The fact that it works so well with my daughter most of the time keeps me using it. Now, after many months, I usually only have to get to 1, or raise my finger in the sign of a 1, and she will actually stop what she is doing, mostly whining. For my son, I always get to the time-out, and I almost always have to help him to his room, and invariably it takes longer than 10 minutes. There are those times, though, when it actually works for him too; he is just not as consistent. Having an effective method for working with my daughter at least takes some of the pressure off the chaos in the house, and, in my opinion, it can be a very effective tool to use.